Seminarian Carlos Gonzalez (in MIB jersey) joins students from Bishop Ludden-Grimes at the annual Men in Black Basketball Tournament held in December.
Joys of being a seminarian: Part III
Carlos Gonzalez finds purpose and peace in Seminary
By Eileen Jevis
Staff writer
“We must firmly assume this priestly identity, and realize that our vocation is not an appendix, a means to other ends, even pious ones, such as salvation; absolutely not,” Pope Francis said. Rather, a vocation “is the project of God in our life, what God sees in us, what moves His gaze of love.” (Catholic Review: January 16, 2025)
That message from Pope Francis 13 months ago resonates with seminarian Carlos Gonzalez who is currently attending St. Mary’s Seminary and the University of Baltimore, Md. He said formation has been a true gift and St. Mary’s is giving him everything he needs to be, “God-willing,” a good pastor one day. We sat down with him to ask about his journey to priesthood.
Seminarian Carlos Gonzales carries the incense as part of the procession at the Ordination of Fathers John Brusa and Joe Ryan at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception.
Q. In a previous interview with The Catholic Sun, you mentioned that you left the seminary and returned. Can you tell our readers about discernment, feeling God’s call in your heart, having doubts, and realizing your true purpose?
A. I entered seminary right after high school, and after two years, I realized I wasn’t fully convinced that God was calling me to be a priest. After some time of prayer and discernment, I decided to step away for a time, hoping that distance would bring clarity. During that time, I did my best to chart my own path and began to pursue a career in law enforcement. Before wanting to be a priest, I wanted to be a police officer, so this made sense. I was one week away from moving to California to become a member of the San Jose Police Department. But there was something within me that didn’t feel right. I was restless and lacked peace.
Eventually, I would realize that I was trying to control the outcome instead of truly discerning and listening to God. When I finally surrendered, and sincerely asked God what He wanted me to do with my life, priesthood kept resurfacing. I felt a strong urge to stay back, and go back to listening and being open to where the Lord was calling me. Each time I did that, I felt a sense of peace and purpose.
Shortly after prayerfully deciding not to move to California, I met with a priest friend of mine, Father Clifford Auth. During our conversation, he invited me to consider becoming the Youth Minister at his parishes of St. Augustine and St. Mary’s in Baldwinsville. It was through working with Fr. Auth and ministering to the youth in Baldwinsville that I continually sensed the Lord’s call to follow Him.
Q. What is one aspect of seminary that people may not understand, that they would be surprised to learn?
A. I think many people have the idea that everyone in seminary becomes a priest. Seminary is a place where one more intimately discerns their vocation. It is a process of truly being open to God and listening to where He is calling you. During this process, one will either feel further called to priesthood or to something else. This is true and healthy discernment.
Q. In the May 2024 article in The Catholic Sun, you said, “I think the Lord, for whatever reason, sees something in each person that He calls to the priesthood.” That is true for whatever our purpose in life turns out to be. Can you comment on that?
A. God calls all of us to serve Him in a particular vocation. God knows us better than we know ourselves, so ultimately, He knows what is best for our lives. It can be challenging for us to figure that out, but it’s so worth it! Regardless of our age or stage in life, we all share in a common mission to know God, to love God, and to serve God.
Whether serving in a food pantry, getting involved in the various parish ministries, attending parish events that will enhance our faith, those are just a few examples of how we can live in service to God. The beautiful thing about this mission is that it’s participatory. It is not just for priests and religious, it’s for everyone. How we participate looks different for everyone. For some, it will be laying their life down for the Church as priests and religious, for others, it will be laying their life down for their spouse and family. But again, all should lead us into a participation of our common mission.
Q. What do you do in your free time?
A. In my free time, I enjoy repairing watches, hiking, running, playing different sports, and hanging out with my family and friends.
Q. How is it going in the seminary?
A. It’s going really well. What I’ve enjoyed most is the steady growth I’ve seen throughout my time in formation. Every day has been a new opportunity to learn and grow.
