Mary poses for a photo with her grandfather at her Confirmation. Photo courtesy of Megan Detor.
On and off the field, BLG student athlete Mary Detor finds fulfillment in Catholic education.
By Elizabeth Landry
Staff writer
This past December, Mary Detor, a junior at Bishop Ludden-Grimes Jr./Sr. High School, was named CNY Central’s Toyota High School Athlete of the Year. Mary has always been a skilled soccer player, said her father, Jeff Detor, and this past fall she was both a captain on the girls’ soccer team and the starting kicker on the boys’ football team. Mary, who also played on the school’s lacrosse team last year, said her talent for kicking field goals was discovered accidentally when she happened to be kicking a football around for fun and the school’s athletic director took notice.
“He invited me to play [football] and it’s pretty busy playing two sports, but it’s a lot of fun and I don’t regret it,” she said.
Mary also finds success and enjoyment at Bishop Ludden-Grimes outside the athletic arena. She said one of the highlights she’s enjoyed at the school is the Big Knight, Little Knight program, in which BLG students have the opportunity to meet with and mentor younger students at Most Holy Rosary Elementary School.
“We talk to them, check in with them, play games with them, and just kind of be a mentor for them,” said Mary.
A life-changing decision
Mary’s school life, however, wasn’t always so enjoyable and fulfilling. Her parents shared that from elementary school through middle school, Mary had attended the district public school where the family lives. In middle school, her parents said, Mary experienced instances of bullying, some directed toward her and also toward those around her, that began to draw her away from the things she loved. She dreaded going to school each day.
“We always taught our kids to be inclusive, to treat everybody well — to be a bucket filler, not a bucket emptier. And it was very difficult for us to watch what was happening to Mary,” said Jeff, noting the situation also affected her love of sports and the ability to envision better days ahead. “In eighth grade, she told me she didn’t want to play sports in high school.”
“[Mary] is wonderful and exciting and full of life, and has always been like that. When she was two years old, we said she just had ‘joie de vivre’, because she just loves life and loves everything, and we saw that diminishing by the day. It was literally just breaking her spirit. … it was horrible,” shared Mary’s mother, Megan Detor.
Jeff and Megan knew something needed to change. Megan and her eight sisters had all graduated from Bishop Ludden, and the family had many friends who were part of the Bishop Ludden community. They presented the idea to Mary that she could transfer to the diocesan high school for ninth grade, and she decided to take the leap. What happened next was life-changing — a phrase both Jeff and Megan used to describe the impact the new school community had on not only Mary, but on the rest of the family, as well.
Welcome home
Before the school year started, Mary played on a league soccer team with some of the girls with whom she would be attending Bishop Ludden in the fall. She recalled that soccer game in a speech she gave at Mass during the opening weekend of Catholic Schools Week this year.
Last fall, Mary realized her skills on the soccer field also translate to the football field. Photo courtesy of Jeff Detor.
“I was immediately greeted by one of the senior captains, who introduced herself and welcomed me to the team,” Mary wrote in a draft of her speech that Jeff shared with The Sun. “She took me to meet our coach. He said he was glad to have me and asked if there was anything I needed, or wondered about, [that] I should let him know. WOW. I mean, wow! It felt… like home.”
Megan echoed the same sentiments as her daughter when she reflected on that game, emphasizing how welcoming everyone was. “It was like going home,” Megan said. “There were people there that I graduated with, that my sisters graduated with, and it was just immediately [like] family. … It was such a great feeling.”
The friendly, inviting environment at that soccer game was just a glimpse of what Mary and the Detor family would experience as the school year began, as Mary became involved in school activities and as she began to form meaningful relationships with her teachers, coaches, and peers. When asked who has mentored and supported her along her journey at Bishop Ludden, Mary shared that her biggest mentor has been Elizabeth Gaughan, a fellow skilled athlete and Bishop Ludden’s 2025 salutatorian, who now attends St. John Fisher College.
“I met [Elizabeth] my freshman year and she really welcomed me into the soccer team and encouraged me to play basketball with her and run track with her, and trying these new sports inspired me to try to play football,” Mary explained.
A community of faith
But perhaps the most important change in Mary — beyond the enjoyment she experienced on the field, in the classroom, and with her friends — is the enrichment in her faith life, Jeff emphasized. She started looking forward to going to Mass every week, he shared, and he also told a story about an unforgettable moment that happened on a day last year when both the girls’ and boys’ soccer teams were playing important games with a chance to advance to the sectional finals. The girls had played first and won the game, and a lot of the girls stayed to cheer on the boys during their game. The game was tied and it came down to overtime.
“Just before overtime — and I just need to take a pause because it still makes me shiver every time I think about it — Elizabeth Gaughan and the other senior captains from the soccer team pulled the girls together and said, ‘Alright, girls, it’s overtime, let’s say a quick prayer.’ And they said a Hail Mary. And I turned to Megan and said, ‘We’re in the right place!’”
Mary is the middle child of the family. She has an older sister, Claire, 18, and a younger sister, Bridget, 14, who is now a freshman at BLG. Jeff explained how joining the Bishop Ludden community, and now the Bishop Ludden-Grimes community, has been an uplifting experience for the whole family.
“It’s been such a wonderful experience for us, and has strengthened us as a family,” he said. “It has been a fun thing to be a part of, and I’m excited about it. … We found a family of faith, of community, and of love.”
When asked how she would describe her experience at BLG so far, Mary said, “I feel like the school gave me a lot of really unique opportunities to just be myself. … It has helped me become a better person and helped me be a better athlete.”
Perhaps Megan summed up the impact on Mary best, saying, “Mary has her joie de vivre back. If you talk to her, if you’ve seen her, she has her love of life again.”
