Here’s still time for one more New Year’s resolution: Prioritize strengthening your marriage in 2025
By Elizabeth Landry, staff writer
We’ve all encountered difficult moments in our lives when we wish we had a handbook we can pull off a shelf to help us navigate challenges or decisions. The same is certainly true for married people as they experience the times that are “for better, for worse” that exist in all marriages. Thankfully, such a handbook for married people is now available.
Published in September of 2024, “Marriage is Easier When You Know How” by Patricia Crane Ennis, MSW, includes the skills, keys and secrets all married couples can benefit from learning — whether their marriage is on the brink of failure or they simply want to strengthen their bond and their relationship.
Although Ennis’ book came out just last year, the 14 skills she explores throughout the book have been taught and discussed for almost four decades as part of the Third Option marriage program she created in 1988. An educational support group and workshop, the Third Option is named as such because it provides a third way of handling difficulties experienced in marriage. While married couples may only see the two options of divorce or enduring a painful marriage, the program brings a different option through peer ministry that offers help, hope and ways to obtain growth and reconciliation. Each meeting focuses on one of the 14 skills, with attendees sharing and discussing progress since the last session, and learning from the experiences of mentor couples.
The Third Option has expanded significantly since its inception, with meetings located all over the country and even internationally. Here in the Diocese of Syracuse, meetings are held at St. Michael-St. Peter’s Parish Center every other Sunday from 6:30-8:30 p.m., both in-person and via Zoom, as well as in Utica through the Good News Center. Stephanie Stewart, program coordinator for the Third Option in the Syracuse Diocese since 2018, has seen the impact the program has had on many local couples and attested to its efficacy.
The book is based on the Third Option marriage program, which was awarded an international Smart Marriages Impact Award from the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education in 2005.
“I think it’s just a great program. Who doesn’t want to have a good marriage? Who doesn’t want to have a better marriage? And so the program, you know, helps us get to the marriage that we desire, and I believe that God desires us to have.”
Originally from Clinton, NY, Ennis currently resides in Fayetteville and attends Immaculate Conception Parish. She has a background in social work, graduated from Le Moyne College where she initially met her husband of 56 years, Bryan, and earned her Master of Social Work from Syracuse University. Talking to the Sun about how she came to write her book, she recalled how many people encouraged her to begin writing, but ultimately, the call to write came from God.
“In the later years [of being involved in Third Option], everybody kept saying ‘you’ve got to write a book, you’ve got to write a book.’ I knew actually how difficult that was going to be … I feel like the Lord just kept telling me to write a book. Now that it’s written and it’s out there, it feels wonderful, because now I can share this information with many, many more people.”
Alongside much prayer and spiritual direction from the Lord, Ennis also received tremendous support from her husband and her daughters during the four years in which she worked on the book.
Ennis’ vision for the book is that married couples, at any stage of their relationship, can read the book together at their own pace, and continue to refer to the book whenever the need arises — truly serving as a marriage handbook. It’s important to Ennis that readers understand her book, and the Third Option program, as well, aren’t just for couples who are struggling in their marriage, but that the teachings are integral for all marriages to be optimized and strengthened.
“I want to normalize it. You know, all couples need these skills. When you’re challenged in some way, and we all are at different times … we can go to the book and we can say, ‘How should I handle this? What’s the best way to deal with this?’”
Importantly, not only does the book teach the “skills of love,” as Ennis puts it, but it’s also just an enjoyable read.
“It’s a fun book,” Ennis said. “The stories are entertaining. You know, I tried to write it like we were just sitting next to each other, chit-chatting. I tried to make it a really engaging book. People are going to love the stories in it because they’re all true. Every single story is a true story.”
Whether you’re a married person yourself who’s prioritizing your marriage in 2025 or interested in giving the book as a wedding gift to newlyweds, the book is sure to bring many blessings to marriages in the coming years.
“Marriage is Easier When You Know How” is currently available for purchase online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. More information is also available at www.marriageiseasier.com and on the book’s official Facebook page.
