Deacon aspirant Jan DeAngelo reflects on tragedy, God’s presence in his life

By Jan DeAngelo

On September 8, 2019, our lives changed as a family. Our son, Giordano, went out to mow his lawn and collapsed. The EMT workers tried to revive him for over 30 minutes. He died on the way to the emergency room. He was 27.

The doctors told us he died from the “widow maker”: an undetected clot in his left ventricle. He left behind a young wife and our beautiful granddaughter, who was barely 8 months old. I had just finished the prerequisites for the diaconate program. My professors suggested I take a year off to deal with it. So I did.

In that year, I learned more about my vocation to the diaconate than I anticipated. After a loss like that you have two choices — you can dissolve into anger and self pity or you can keep moving. We have three other kids. I kept moving. It was at that point my soul awakened to God’s call in a way I had never dreamed.

My wife and I decided the best way to keep going was to reach out to others. We started a dinner for the homeless at St. James in Johnson City. I would go out to the area encampments to bring food and clothing. I now take my high school seniors out once a week to the bus station to bring food, clothing, and company. God awakened my soul out of self pity to see a whole new world of people much worse off than myself.

In helping these people, God clarified for me what diaconate truly means: SERVICE. Recently, Pope Leo affirmed our Catholic teaching of preferential treatment of the poor. We are taught in diaconate to have one foot in the sanctuary and one in the marketplace. God walked me out of profound grief to profound fulfillment. Although I would have preferred a gentler way, I thank Our Lord and Our Lady every day for getting me through. Giordano died on Sept. 8, Our Lady’s birthday, and he was born on Jan. 1, the Solemnity of Mary. That could not have been a clearer sign of God’s presence in all of this. So this Advent, my heart is awakened again to the presence of God in my poor and homeless brothers and sisters, and I hope to bring the gift of the newborn King to them by being present to them and doing what St. Francis asked of us — to “preach the Gospel, and when necessary, use words.”

Editor’s note: Jan DeAngelo is the music director at St. James Parish in Johnson City. He also serves as a teacher at Seton Catholic Central in Binghamton. DeAngelo is in his final year of diaconate formation, scheduled to be ordained in 2026.