Respecting one’s life at the end of life
By Eileen Jevis
Staff writer
When we are saying goodbye to a loved one, providing comfort and respecting their wishes in their final days is utmost in our minds. We are blessed to be with them, holding their hand, letting them know how much they are loved, and that we — and Jesus — are at their side. When someone dies suddenly, there is regret and sadness at not having had the opportunity to say goodbye. This can result in a profound and longer-lasting grieving process. It is crucial that we accept comfort and support from our friends, parish family, and church leaders.
Deacon Dean Brainard, Family/Respect Life Director Lisa Hall, and the Family/Respect Life office staff are dedicated to providing support to parishioners who are coping with the loss of a loved one. They work to offer resources and workshops to help parishes create and extend their ministry to help navigate difficult life transitions with a focus on bereavement and grief.
On Oct. 19, Hall presented “Catholic Considerations for End-of-Life Decision-Making” at St. Stephen’s/Holy Trinity Parish. She reminded attendees that our ultimate destiny is not a hospital bed, funeral home or cemetery. It is eternal life. Hall discussed topics such as palliative care, euthanasia, assisted suicide, and the Catholic teachings of end of life, which states: “Every human life is sacred because he or she is made in the image and likeness of God. Human life never loses its dignity. Every life is deserving of respect and the protection of law. Life is a gift; we have stewardship, not ownership.”
Hall wants members of the Catholic community to know there are several parishes throughout the diocese that currently have ministries in place. She and Dc. Brainard are encouraging parishes to reach out to them to start their own program. “The Church’s ministry for the bereaved is an act of accompanying families who have buried the dead with dignity,” said Dc. Brainard. “It’s an act of honoring departed loved ones and teaching self-care to those who are grieving to find healing and hope through their faith and worship community.”
“Dying with dignity means being surrounded by love and treating the whole person until the very end,” added Robert Myers, Ph.D., interim executive director at Francis House. “It means being known by name, cared for with tenderness, and allowed to live fully in every moment that remains.” Myers said he and the staff at Francis House believe that death is not something to be feared but a sacred passage — one that can be marked by peace, presence, and grace when people are not alone. “Francis House,” said Myers, “is a place where love is made visible. To see dignity, peace, and compassion shared so freely is the deepest award imaginable.
“Grief is a journey that no one should take alone,” Meyers continued. “For parishes looking to begin or strengthen a bereavement ministry, we are happy to share resources, training contacts, and we invite them to visit Francis House to experience the ministry first-hand.” Franics House is creating a new center that will offer education and outreach to families and caregivers in Central New York. Founded by Sister of St. Francis Kathleen Osbelt, with the help of Sister Collette Walter, the Center named after Sister Kathleen, is offering new and existing programs in 2026.
To find a parish in the diocese that has a bereavement program, or if you or your parish are interested in establishing a grief and bereavement ministry, contact Deacon Dean Brainard at the Respect Life Office at 315-472-6754 (option 4) or email him at [email protected].
To learn more about Francis House and its ministry, visit https://francishouseny.org/.
