Above: Mary and Bob Petrarca — ‘Grandma and Papi’ to their grandchildren — at home in Liverpool.
Grandmother shares her journey of family and faith
By Tami S. Scott, associate editor
When you walk into the Liverpool home of Bob and Mary Petrarca, the first thing you might notice is a group of photos hanging at equal height on the hallway wall — one of each of their 10 grandchildren ranging in age from 18 to 4.
In that timespan and beyond (they’ve been married 44 years), the Petrarcas have experienced great peaks but also deep valleys that would try the most committed of couples. Yet, Mary said she would live them all over again. Why?
Because they have profound testimonies to share of God’s love through it all.
Sunday, September 8 is World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly. Pope Francis chose Psalm 71:9 for this year’s theme: “Do not cast me off in my old age,” and has invited everyone “to show our tender love for grandparents and the elderly members of our families.”
The following is a love story that highlights not only the deep bond between grandparents and grandchildren but also reflects the all-encompassing love that Jesus has for each of us, regardless of age.
Their story
Grandma time is always special time.
Mary described becoming a grandma as “the most amazing feeling in the whole world,” from their first grandson, Sammy, to their youngest, Josephine, who was born during the pandemic.
“Every one is a great moment,” Bob said. “Every one of them is special.”
Mary smiled, recalling a visit that happened just a day before this interview. One of her granddaughters saw her and came running across the room. “‘Grandma! Grandma! Grandma!’ [She] throws everything on the floor and just wraps herself around me and those blue eyes just looking at me and smiling from ear to ear,” she shared. “‘I love you, Grandma. I missed you. I missed you.’ And I’m like, there’s nothing better. There’s nothing in the world that’s greater than that feeling.”
And no more than two months ago, four of the 10 grandchildren were finally baptized into the Catholic faith, a dream “I’ve wanted since the day they were born,” Mary said. After the baptism, Bob and she renewed their wedding vows. Father Jon Werner, a close friend of the family, who retired in 2023 and is the former pastor of St. Mary Church and St. Paul Church in Binghamton, officiated. “He worked with us. He worked with the parents,” Bob said. “[Fr.] Jon is a solid, solid man.”
In June, Mary, who has dealt with serious and complicated, life-threatening health issues most of her adult life, was diagnosed with a brain tumor and given four to six months to live. Their kids (four together, and three from Bob’s previous marriage) traveled from near and far to be home with their mom. In July, the family took a trip to the Adirondacks.
“We needed to get away and [the kids] wanted to kind of reminisce and create moments that we could remember,” Bob said. “Because at that time, you know, we didn’t know what was going to happen — and obviously, we still don’t know — but the reality is that that could have been the last time we were able to replicate what we used to when they were young. It was definitely a magical time.”
What happened shortly after their return home dramatically changed Mary’s life — and her faith.
“Mary really started going downhill,” Bob recalled. It was a Monday morning when they called the ambulance and she was admitted to the hospital. She wasn’t breathing on her own and they needed to intubate her. “I didn’t know for sure she’d come out of it, to be honest with you. They tried three times, and she wouldn’t breathe on her own, so they had to abort.”
Papi, as Bob is lovingly known to his grandchildren, in a one-on-one reading moment.
A later fourth attempt was successful, though, but Mary was panic-stricken. “I remember when they first took the tube out … the fear and the shaking … I couldn’t explain … I just felt like I would forget how to breathe, and the nurses [were saying] ‘You’re breathing’ …” Mary said. “But along with that fear, I have never felt such overwhelming peace. I’ve never felt like Jesus was holding me like He was then. I still have that peace every day, every night, all day. I thank Jesus constantly for that.”
A testimony of faith
At 65 years old, Mary has undergone 53 surgeries and an above-the-knee amputation. Through it all, she has maintained her faith — but it hasn’t always been unwavering. “[I] talked the talk, but [it] wasn’t really matching what was going on inside of me,” she explained.
That has now changed.
“I haven’t seen this level of peace in Mary since I first met her 46 years ago so I can say that without question,” Bob affirmed. “And it’s a great building block the Lord has given us now.”
Their son Bobby told his mom he’d never seen her so peaceful, calm or happy. “What do you think about that?” he asked Mary. “It’s so hard to put into words,” she said to us, “but I know it was Jesus in me, and I was allowing Him to work through me instead of fighting.”
Her most recent scan results were consistent with post-surgery, revealing no new growth. Her headaches are gone, and her vision is now unaffected. Her medical team will do more scans in three months.
Either way, Mary is content with God’s will and is confident her life experiences have led her to where she is now: at peace and full of joy. She admits that she used to feel as so many of us feel at times — angry because her will was not being fulfilled, her will that she believed should happen. But if God had said yes to everything she ever asked for, “I may never have felt what I felt after they took the tube out,” she said.
“That journey is truly a gift from God and this brain tumor is a gift from God because it’s the first time I have felt …” she paused, “so peaceful, so loved. I feel something I’ve never, ever felt before and it’s all for His glory. It’s all because He has chosen this path for me. It has nothing to do with me.
“Thank God He slapped me upside the head with a brain tumor to let me know that He knows what He’s doing,” she added spiritedly. “It’s taken me 65 years to learn to give it to God. Again, I’ve never been at such peace since this whole last incident and it’s just amazing.
“I would do it again,” the beloved grandma said. “I would do it again.”
